we named the turkey Jerry

well, the uncle [a noted dark meat fan, and you people know who you are] insisted on a whole bird. drumsticks, wings, and a stuffed cavity. cavity?! on thanksgiving eve at 8PM, Mom and I were huddled around this recently defrosted carcas, sizing up the work to be done. before we got down to business as it were, I asked if we could name the turkey. as she answered, I blurted out, "Jerry."
Jerry was a gordo bird, nearly 20 lbs, and kept in a molded form by an elaborate series of trusses. after wrestling with the last of these trusses, in fear that something would give way and send inner matter onto us, my father was called into the kitchen. it is amazing that a man of limitted vision is still so agile with his hands. in one fell swoop the last of the plastic was gone. mom and I were shaking with laughter, our unwashed hands held like that of a surgeon prepping. this is when my sister departed from a magazine article she had been reading to join us. at that moment, dad pulled out the neck, which had been carefully stowed within said cavity. my sister chose to yell "OMG, is that a penis?" now wouldn't that be something.
needless to say, much of Jerry went uneaten. he was separated into various takeaway containers to be refrigerated at the uncle's house. Jerry was a little dry anyway. we made him into soup for dinner tonight.