little white dog

*a humorous stab

she calls you, "baby," and a thousand nauseating titles. you sit at her feet, in her lap, and in a special basket by the desk. you are tolerated by others for fear of her wrath. she argues you are a constant companion, enough for a large purse, and an empathetic soul. your level of maintenance alone surpasses that of a toddler. and yet we smile and nod, smile and nod.
oh but you are unfortunate, little white dog. you're dancing around our ankles, underfoot and baring teeth. heaven knows what's more entertaining, when you are bouncing like gravity briefly defied. i saw a puppet show once and i think you'd be perfect for a traveling act. pom-a-rain-ean, long-haired and preposterous, with claws painted to matching matching bows. you are featured in a compromising angle in your house, barking like we're going to pick up your human and hang her by her toes. oh but you are unfortunate, little white dog. we all question your existence as she feeds you bits of bacon and cheetos.