just another nancy in a bar

there she was, deliberately clad in boots to walk quickly home in, seated beside a topiary bear. said bear was lit with twinkling lights to compliment the blaring christmas music coming from speakers staged center in uptown. her nose and hands had gone all red from sitting out in the cold, one ungloved hand in her pocket and the other holding a cell phone (as she pondered the thin line between desperation and homelessness. somewhere, a child was crying...). her telecommuting companion was brushing her teeth and gargling [to make her laugh]. what was she doing here?

her boots reminded her of nancy sinatra's breakthrough hit in the 1960s, although she was not looking forward to brushing off this suitor with them. said suitor had left his stepsister's birthday party to get lost trying to find uptown, all to have a drink with our nancy. he just had to see her before he went to hawaii, to the very island she'd taken her (doofus) ex. his unbridled enthusiasm made her stomach turn. "where do i find these guys?" she asked herself.

this one was another classic, glaring at her from across the holiday show. her best friend would have told her to ignore the guy. he didn't have the nerve to speak to her until she was pissed off enough at his ogling to come over and casually introduce herself. and now this guy was going to buy nancy a drink, not carry his half of the conversation, and ask her three times if she liked him. she was being polite, wanting to know as little as possible about him, because she just wasn't interested. nancy knew what kind of night this was going to be: another night with captain insecurity.

the second time he asked if she fancied him, she'd had a couple of glasses of wine, but her answer had not changed.
"oh, you're so angelic looking... you're beautiful... i feel this connection... blah blah blah... kiss me, kiss me... obsurd compliment... do you like me?"
"thank you. i know i'm beautiful. what? what is your problem? kindly get your face out of my face. it's a been a while since someone said that to me, but i still know. what connection are you talking about? i'm just not attracted to you."
he became silent as the grave. wallowing in his own self-pity. such a girl. oh, the let down. your fancies were in your head, my man! GROW UP. have fun on Doofus Island. And don't call me.