handful o roach

i understand the role of certain insects within the continuum of the animal kingdom.

i do not, cannot, will not fathom roaches EVER.

my apartment complex left me a little parting suprise: unfumigated closets.
oh, what awaits a person who tries to function in an actual home environment following a move?
that which you packed for immediate use may contain treats of nocturnal growth.

my bathrobe was clean and tidy, hanging on the peg of the bathroom door.
i went to wrap myself within it, one sleeve at a time, only to discover a HANDFULL OF ROACH in the second sleeve.

are you kidding me?

i screamed, ran towel-clad to the cleaners under the kitchen sink, and returned with an all-purpose to spray the bastard, who'd by then flown into the tub.

i am ready, dear Lord, to leave these palmetto state birds, these carolina butterflies, these unwelcomed colonists, these disgusting carriers of who-knows-what IN THE DUST.